The full length mirror in your room must be screaming for help as you stare at yourself for the 10th time today. 

Touching and weighing body parts, you consider cancelling on your friends again.

Why is your bundle of hips and butt enlargement pills not showing any progress even after one month. Your friends swore by them-the new sashaying of her behind is all the proof that you need. 

Damilare’s Only Big BumBum Matters Tomorrow is a must read. In a society where a sizable buttocks defines prettiness and beauty, this author explored body insecurities and dysmorphia. 

The main character;Temilade resolves to get a Brazilian butt lift immediately after her graduation. Her decision is fueled by random comments on her small bottom that have haunted her since her childhood. Whilst she lives with the shame of her small back side, Temilade’s sister hates the attraction that her voluminous behind brings her. 

Their contrasting stories mirrors the realities of many young women who have lived in bodies they hated and have obsessively wanted the “right” body. 

Over time, beauty standards have been measured according to the trends in society. In European and African regions, voluptuous shapes were once the rave and was greatly envied because it depicts wealth and abundance. 

Women aspired to have heavy set figures and strategically work towards this by confining in fattening rooms, padding themselves to give an illusion of curves and applying several mixtures to grow body parts of their choice. 

The desire for thick bodies casually shifted to petite and slightly curvaceous shapes,  enough to register womanhood. This trend was sealed by green teas and natural mixtures that promises fast weight loss and even faster metabolism. 

As culture changed, so did beauty standards.  Today, hourglass shapes are the holy grail and are religiously worshiped. 

If one follows the body positivity movement online, especially in women centered spaces, one would notice the discussions about accepting one’s body as they are. One would also observe that “body positivists” shame women who have undergone cosmetic enhancement like bbls and face lifts, raising issues like exploitations, objectification and unrealistic beauty standards. 

While the many concerns around cosmetic surgeries are apt, what I find very interesting about the heated arguments is the failure to realise that cosmetic bodies are bodies to be accepted too. 

Why are they kickbacks on women who are suffering insecurities and dysmorphia  from getting the bodies they want and living fulfilled and confident lives? 

Why do apostles of body positivity do the opposite of accepting all bodies such that despite being adults capable of making informed decisions, women are mocked for wanting to enhance their features and live confidently?  

Even more, why do we fail to recognize that body dysmorphia or BBD is a mental disorder requiring our empathy and support? 

Before we can question the decisions of adults who go through the knife, we must first realize their right to bodily autonomy and respect their decisions to want and require any body of their choice. We must also attack the trends and systems that exploits people, only then can we begin to have a balance discussion.